Making Choices In Life-There Are Only 2 Ways To Seeing It!

Life is a matter of choices. There is no definite rule to say that you are supposed to act upon only a particular decision. We make choices in our lives. Some choices are clear and definite while many others can be very uncertain. When given such circumstances, how would you have reacted? Do you decide on it based on your first instinct? Or do you let it soak into you, taking some time off to weigh the pros and cons of it. What if there isn’t much time? What if you are required to make a decision right at that very instance? Uncertain of how things will turn out, how would you choose?

The choices in life we make today often determine how we’ll live tomorrow. I am not talking about tomorrow’s breakfast; either to have cereal or pancakes. What I really meant was how we are living our life today will shape the very core foundation of our future; as to how your present condition is based on your past. Still, no one is certain. Neither I nor you would have a single clue to where it’ll eventually bring us. So where should we based our choices from, if we aren’t sure of ourselves if we will ever get there?

A Higher Power, Perhaps?

There has got to be something you have to believe in; karma, instinct, intuition, hunch, universe, faith, God, whatever that may be, you have got to believe that there is a certain higher power to life; of which you are able to draw strength from. I have had the privilege to experience how living has been from both sides of the page. One that believes in Faith and God and the other that doesn’t.

Seeing With The Eyes

Our visions are very limited. There is no denial in that. We have eyes for sight and yet how many of us are truly ‘seeing’? What we are capable of looking at though our eyes are merely just things around us. We see cars, we see buildings, we see people, we see occasions, and if you happen to be at the right moment in time, you get to see certain incidences. But if you only look through your eyes, what becomes of what you see? Sure enough, that a particular thought would have accompanied your sight but what becomes of it?

I didn’t come from a very religious family and I certainly am not brought up to be. Throughout my 20 years of life, the only conviction that I had principally built upon was based on a belief heavily influenced by the Society’s expectation. And when I live life as to how society expects me to be, I saw only through my eyes.

Society deems that happiness is equivalent to having many things, like luxurious cars, big houses, branded accessories. It also emphasizes that looking good and being beautiful is to having curvy model-like features and physique. If we were to allow ourselves to be built upon these elements, are we not only seeing through our eyes?

Please do not get me wrong. I am not saying that being rich or having fascinating feature is a wrong side to the story. You are eligible as anyone else is to achieve every form of richness the world has to offer. What sets you apart from the rest whilst having all is putting purpose and meaning to it. Which brings us to the below read.

Seeing With The Heart

Seeing with the heart allows us to build faith thus leading us towards God’s plan for us. When I see through my heart, I opened myself up completely. I learn to stop judging and relish the positive things that life has to offer despite whatever circumstances; this includes the bad and the ugly. Because I know that each one of us was put onto this Earth for a purpose. And that purpose is always for the greater good. God has His plans for me and you and I lived each day with faith so that one day, when He reveals it all, I will be ready to accept it.

I have experienced despair because I was trying to live up to others and society’s expectation. At times I succeeded, and other times I was beaten down. With determination, there is nothing that you wouldn’t be able to achieve. Is just in my case, the more I succeeded in allowing myself to believe that in order for me to be happy; I have to be that or have that, the more I agonized. I allowed myself no room for error and each time I was unsuccessful, I felt like a failure. I was ashamed and I couldn’t bear to face humiliation from the society of what I am incapable of; when truth is, I was the only one inflicting all these damages onto myself. No one really cares about how badly I screwed up or of my mistakes. No one is perfect, and who was I trying to be?

Then came my salvation through reading. I was afraid of seeking help; therefore I sought relief from books. By reading stories of people who have had much worst, how they come about living life honestly and what it really meant to be so; I was able to slowly release myself off of my own captive. When I do, I haven’t had a single thought if my life would have been for the better or worst. All I knew was that I wanted to get away from where I was.

With faith, I stepped out; one foot at a time. And as I opened myself up to people, conditions, suggestions, my mistakes and most importantly my past, I was able to receive so much more. I have learnt that true happiness radiates from the heart. Of course, we see but it is how we feel it in our hearts, that we are able to finally experience life much more than wanting to have this or that. Our actions are to our thoughts and our thoughts are to what we feel and/or see. So if you see with your heart, your actions will therefore come from it.

The other thing that I have learnt, in spite of any of the bad circumstances I was in, I am able to liberate myself by providing for the others. I may have lived through an awful childhood but I can provide my experiences and lessons that I have learnt to inspire others. I may not have had anyone to talk to during those times, but I hope to be someone you can relate to if you are walking a similar path that I did.

How Would You Choose Now?

It takes time; really! It is not necessary that you change anything other than your mindset right now. Start by opening yourself up; to all the good and bad. Don’t just hope for the best; be prepared to deal with the ugly circumstances too. You will come to a point where you will learn, grow and be your best through these hard times. Bear in mind that your journey is meant to bring out the greater good in you. Have faith that whatever will come your way; it is meant to be there to teach you something. Draw strength from that faith and in God’s plan for you.

Living Life through Faith

Faithcomplete trust or confidence in someone or something based on spiritual apprehension rather than proof.

Throughout my 20 years of living, I have been walking to what I would like to call an ‘automated’ life. Though I hope that your life differs for the better, I am sure similar incidences have had occur to you, some way or another. We all have life experiences of our own, lessons we can teach and stories we could share. This is my story of awakening and how I have come about living life through faith.  No one has clearly been told of what I had been through. Even though I may have shared bits and pieces of my story to some of my closest friends, this is the first time I am writing it out. My intention is never to boast or to show you of my grief. Instead, I hope my story can be a lesson and an inspiration to you, that you’ll begin to cherish your life, knowing that what lies ahead of you can only get better and live the way you are meant for; despite whatever condition you may have had or at now. Remember, that every one of us has our own unique purpose to live for in this world, carefully planned by God, Himself. God makes no mistakes and you are special the way you are. No matter how long it will seemingly take, have faith and uncover your true plan to your life with God’s grace.

I was born into a typical Chinese Asian family. Like any other Chinese family, I was raised in a state where bringing honor to my family is of utmost importance. I must never do anything that brings shame and disgrace to my parents even if it meant doing anything against my will. Discipline, respect and achievements are part of the ultimate priority, that as a child of the family, my responsibility was to attain a reputable accomplishment as intended.

Like any Chinese family or anyone being brought up alike, we were raised based on other’s expectation despite of our own. We believe that what our parents meant of us is who we are and should be building upon. But that isn’t quite true. Because I have learnt that no matter how others are expecting you to be more of what they want of you, you can never change who you are uniquely born inside. It is only a matter of giving yourself a chance and listening to your inner voice to find out exactly who you are meant to be.

Ever since I was young, I knew I was different; but I didn’t exactly know what it was. I wasn’t the brightest of the family. I suffered; personally through self-imposed, from what I would like to call as a ‘Middle-Child-Syndrome‘, where I felt like I could never match up to my elder brother in terms of my parent’s expectation and never could receive the kind of attention and love from my parents as how  they cared for my younger siblings. I was caught in between and I felt divided. Still, being clueless and raised in such condition, I didn’t put in much thought about it simply because I wasn’t aware that I should be. I was busy ‘fighting’ for my parent’s attention and expectation, like it was only right that I do. It felt like a battle I wished I never had fought, because when I think about it back then, I was exhausting myself towards an unbearable point where  everything could have been much better for me if I were to just be myself. But I had been young and naïve. The less I felt that I was being acknowledged, the harder it is that I fought. I was never going to win. In fact, I had lost this battle way before I even started; all because I was trying to be someone I wasn’t meant to be and living to someone else’s expectation other that what was exclusively for me.

Too much of something isn’t good and that, my friend, my initial intention worked exactly as how the quote meant. Feeling lost, rejected, exhausted and misplaced, I just wanted to run away. I just wanted to hide myself away from the world. I felt like I will never ever be good enough for anything. I will never be smart, I will never be beautiful, I will never be admired.  My confidence plummeted towards a depressing point where I was unable to even bear the sight of looking at myself in the mirror. I care less of myself; my feelings, my body, my thoughts, my happiness. I put on weight and accomplish nothing. Assignments were done and handed up for the sake of passing. I still have my family’s pride to uphold. I wouldn’t fail and lose out on grades; is just that I never felt like accomplishing anything to the best of my ability. My life passed by each day; like I have been set on automated mode.

And, you know what made me felt even lesser of myself. Whenever I see someone who seemed to have everything that I wished I could had; good looks, good grades, nice car, money to spend, circle of cool friends, being admired, confidence, and charisma. At times, I cried myself to sleep, wondering why me? Why can’t I have those? Why can’t I be more like them? I wanted to be admired. I wanted to have good looks. I wanted to have a circle of cool friends. But why can’t I? I was pointing fingers out and blaming my conditions where little did I know, to have all of those, I needed only to look inside of myself.

At this point, I didn’t just wake up the next morning with confidence. I didn’t wake up and make changes to my life even though I knew had too. In fact, to be honest, nothing did change. My mind has been set on automated mode all these years and my life has adjusted itself comfortably over it. I had lived life without true purpose; just for the sake of pleasing others. I never really had the right mindset, the right motivation, the right determination and certainly never had the right reason to change anything about myself. To change, even for the better would simply meant I have to step out of my comfort zone and across unchartered terrain. Something I wasn’t prepared to because even though life sucked big time during those moments, it was how I had been for many years, and I thought I was good enough for that. Besides, no matter how much I did, nothing works and no one ever seemed to notice.

Up to this part of my story, some of you would be able to relate. For those who have lived life far better, I hope you continue to maintain an open mind. You never know what you understand today could be of help to someone tomorrow.

Despite my upbringing and great depression, I was thankful that I have never had the slightest thought of committing suicide. I hear of many stories sharing how depressions could lead to suicidal thoughts amongst young people. Some may have thought about acting upon it, and very upsetting to say that some really did so. I used to consider myself lucky, because I couldn’t even bear the thought of what would eventually happen of me if I ever had a thought about committing suicide. Maybe I was scared? Maybe I just couldn’t bear to leave my parents behind despite my family’s condition and upbringing.

Now that I think about it, what would have prevented those suicidal thoughts into my mind? It’s really quite unexplainable but I have always felt a certain light nudge in times of my despair. Even though I have lived a life that doesn’t seemed myself, somewhere at the back of my mind, there’s always a certain tiny voice, if you will just listen to it closely, telling me that great things will soon come my way. It didn’t say when or where or what exactly would be. In fact, now that I come to understand, I have acted upon faith (complete trust or confidence in someone or something based on spiritual apprehension rather than proof) and I truly believed was God’s whisper. I always felt peace and reassured, even just for that very tiny split second.

Despite whatever condition you are at now, no matter how bad or impossible it is, listen closely. Somewhere inside of you; call it your subconscious, your gut, your inner voice, but I would like you to believe and have faith that if He attended to me, he will do too for you. God has a plan for us all. He has a plan for me, and He has a plan for you. It was all part of His plan and His love that He needed us to go through what we had been through. It was His plan and His will that we do so, because something bigger, better and greater lies ahead of us. We may not be able to see it now. Therefore, it is very important that we live with faith. Because I have personally gone through and witness for myself great things that happens when we act upon faith.

God whispered but I didn’t wake up the next day feeling positive and pumped up. I didn’t wake up and be who I was meant to be right at that instant. In fact, I continue struggling during those times and even until now, I still do. One thing is for certain, I now live life through stronger faith and that is what shifted the entire perspective to dealing with matter much more positively. During those times, though I didn’t quite yet fully understand how faith works, I have simply allowed my life to move as it is. I do feel like a complete idiot without purpose, not because I do not have one. Is just that it hasn’t been revealed to me yet. I was living life each day, one step at a time. I wasn’t aware of where or how I should start, I simply just lived life; together with my insecurities and broken confidence.

In my next story, I will share with you how I have acted upon faith and how it has changed my life to what I thought I could never have. I am certain that my experience will show you that anything is possible if only you begin by having true faith and act upon it with hope and determination.  God works in the most wondrous way. What others can’t, He can. All you have to do is allow Him into your life and believe that if He puts you in it, He will allow you the strength to go through it.

Listen : Your Mind and Heart

We always tend to see our life as a constant battle for supremacy.

Many of us, whether you’ll admit it or not; always finds it hard to accept being wrong. We wanted to be admired, to be looked up and be the kind of person others would want to emulate upon. And when we have that need to be so, we often turn to things we BELIEVE could help us portray that kind of image.

Now, BELIEVING is a very strong mental affirmation we hold inside of ourselves. We are what we believe in and given the right amount of will and determination, anything is possible.

However, believing that having that nice, expensive car will make you happy isn’t true. Believing that if you’ll make that much amount of money, you’ll be content; isn’t true. Believing if you’ll render and allow yourself to fit in to groups you definitely know isn’t meant for YOU will turn your life better around; isn’t true and trust me; you’ll only find it worst.

We believe that if we could have XXX, we will be happy?

Yes. Happiness and self-fulfillment in life is what we strive for. But you won’t find happiness in things. You will definitely never find self-fulfillment going against your true-self. Because the world is constantly moving ahead and if you’ll allow your happiness to be determined by things and how much money you make, it will never be enough. There will always be something better to have and more money to make. When we allow ‘things’ or what others have in mind to define what we should be, we start losing pieces of ourselves.

I will be the first to admit that I used to be as what described above. I gave in to peer pressure and I used to think that I will be happy if I start looking better and have more money to spend.

Truth be told, I did went on to find happiness in things and having an image. I took on a job that I knew wasn’t in sync with my character; just because of how much it pays. I struggled and dreaded each day, because somehow inside of me, I knew I was going against myself. The money that I eventually made, I went on dressing myself up with branded things; I thought would define myself better. For the first few days, I carried it with pride. For a moment or so, I thought I was happy. But it didn’t take me long to finally realize these things, are merely just things. And they don’t serve any significant purpose that defines me to who I am truly inside. The things that I carry around every day; by the end of each day as I got home and placed it aside, I knew I hadn’t been happy. For all that I knew, I was going against myself. And with each day I carry on further, I felt that I was literally dying; inside.

If you are currently struggling and somehow knew that whatever you are doing right now doesn’t feel right, it probably is. Your true being is trying to communicate with you and who ought to know better of yourself other than you.

Don’t brush it aside. Don’t allow your true being to disappear, because whatever you are doing right now; isn’t right (and you know it). Have faith that if you were to take that first move to heed your calling; whether it be as simple as acknowledging your call or as bold as taking a step towards change, despite what lies ahead; allow me to assure you that your true plan and destiny is far greater that what you have now.

How would you know you are on the right track?

Peace. That is what you will feel inside and along the way.

Benjamin Button:Quote

For what it’s worth: it’s never too late or, in my case, too early to be whoever you want to be. There’s no time limit, stop whenever you want. You can change or stay the same, there are no rules to this thing. We can make the best or the worst of it. I hope you make the best of it. And I hope you see things that startle you. I hope you feel things you never felt before. I hope you meet people with a different point of view. I hope you live a life you’re proud of. If you find that you’re not, I hope you have the strength to start all over again.

-The Curious Case of Benjamin Button (2008)

givenenoughcoffee

Coffee Smells Like Freshly Ground Heaven

Do you love coffee? I absolutely love coffee. I don’t know when exactly I started having the likes for coffee. Perhaps during my college years; where I have to stay up late to complete assignments. Maybe I picked up coffee drinking during those unforgiving times.

I remember how the first cup tasted. Like many of us, it didn’t felt right the first time.

It tasted bad. It’s black and it’s bitter.  Oh my goodness. How could anyone drink such a ‘horrible’ thing?

And……. Finally I am an addict to it. 

Life : Truly, A Remarkable One Way Journey

Do you believe in destiny? Do you believe in fate? Would you believe that you were here for a reason and that purpose you are to serve on will only reveal itself if you look hard enough.

We are all born into this world in various conditions. Some of us are born lucky; into families that are capable and able in many ways. Some of us; on the other hand are not so fortunate. You get the idea. Some of us despite of the environment may even be born differently, exclusively, in its unique ways.

For many us, as we grew, and as we allow ourselves to be defined by society and all that are around us, we tend to give in; believing that if everyone sees it this way, it probably is real and subsequently must be the truth. That if we were to be born:-

Differently; physically, we would expect to lose out to all the wonderful things the world has to offer.

Poor or in difficult conditions; we were not meant to enjoy the richness and abundance the world has to give.

‘Ugly’ as how society defines beauty as, we weren’t meant to be appreciated.

So forth, as how we envelope our being by these sorts of definitions and expectations of the society, we relish less of ourselves. What we perceive, we manifest more of it and that my friends, are what really is killing us; silently.

*****

I don’t know if you believe in God or fate or that we are all imprinted with a purpose to our existence from a certain destine. I personally don’t know how or where or what I should be striving upon myself. I don’t even know if what I am doing is right or wrong. I don’t know if I ever were to get there; what could be worst to even find out what I was meant to be

I am 25 this year and to some, they might think that I still have many years to look forward to. But I don’t. I certainly do not feel that way.

I have encountered enough circumstances and experienced enough conditions to allow myself to understand the mercy I am at to truly understand how fragile life can be. And when I open myself up to that truth; that even being 25, I understand that I do not have the power to foresee what would happen to me tomorrow or even for the next second. I am sure many of us have had heard the saying of living your life as if it’s your last.

We all know what it meant and what sort of message these words are conveying. But how many of us really actually understands it? When I meant understand, I don’t mean you simply just practice it. What I meant was how many of us really felt right about it. Felt right that it actually hurts in your heart and in your soul. It doesn’t take practice. Even though practice does makes perfect. But if you don’t feel it inside of you; you will only be able to go that far. Of course, you may learn to see things differently. You might have a change of attitude, of character. You may even learn to accept conditions, people and situations much more gracefully.  But there will be, in times of silence, your inner voice will start reaching out to you; telling you that it too wants to be a part of it. That it is only right you complete your being spiritually as well.

How can you do that? How would you be able to do that?

One thing I have learnt to raise myself spiritually, emotionally and internally, I surround myself with people who have had experienced and overcome life’s most difficult conditions, and listen to what they have to say and teach. To be able to see life through their eyes and heart, I was able to learn the purpose and meaning of life far more than what my age could have only take. I don’t need to be someone great. I don’t need to be smart. I don’t need to be pretty. I don’t need to be rich. I don’t need to have everything. All I need are my ears, an open mind and a willing heart.

If you start to listen; instead of talking, you will find that the universe has so much to teach.

You will come to terms that life truly is a remarkable one-way journey.